Do you struggle with feelings of overwhelm? You are not alone; this is a common experience that comes up in therapy. Here are some ways to understand what is going on and some tips to begin to manage it.
Emotional regulation System
Professor Paul Gilbert proposed that we have three kinds of emotional regulation systems.
- Drive – the part of us that is striving, pursuing goals, and achievements.
- Threat – the part of us that determines whether our environment, or others feel like a threat.
- Soothing – the ways in which we can self-regulate, calm our nervous systems, and nurture ourselves.
The difficulty come when these systems become imbalanced.This might mean that we spend more time in threat or drive mode and less time in our soothing system. Consider how much our pets live in their soothing systems, resting.
So what can we do?
- NOURISH:
Consider what helps you to feel safe and nourished and are spending enough time each day doing these things. Perhaps this is eating a nutritious meal, connecting with those we love, or walking in nature. This can mean different things to different people.
- SIMPLIFY:
Considering what we allow into our minds, this might be what we watch, listen too, or interact with online, or simply reducing the amount you are taking on.
- SLOW DOWN:
Notice how much time you dedicate to pursuing goals, whilst this can be satisfying, it can also be exhausting, prevent us from resting and nourishing ourselves.
